Unison Parenting Blog: The Way Forward on Youth Sports

When I had coached my last Little League game, after six years with this team, I expected parents to comment on what their child had learned about baseball. I had taught them fundamentals, and our team was usually good. Not one parent mentioned my coaching aptitude. Practically every parent mentioned life lessons I had taught.

Every sport provides life lessons for children and youth. I taught that baseball is essentially a game of failure; even Hall of Famers only get about three hits out of ten batting appearances. But in baseball, like in life, you'll always get another chance. Your turn in the batting order arrives. The ball will be hit toward you. Another inning, game, or season awaits. Dust off failure and prepare for your next opportunity.

Parents can find a positive way forward with youth sports by searching for life lessons to share. Other ideas:

• Find their right level. Few kids are elite athletes. Let them play at the level where they have the most success. Less than 2% of youth sports participants get a college scholarship. In all my years playing, coaching, and observing youth sports, I only know of three players who made the pros.

• Follow their interest. I wanted my kids to play football, baseball, and basketball because I did. When my oldest chose roller hockey, I grudgingly went along - until I saw his joy after his first game. He loved the sport and eventually made the All-Star team.

• Don't overschedule them. This is the biggest mistake parents make. They put their child into multiple sports at once. Unless they're an elite athlete, let them play different sports in their seasons. We never let our kids play more than one sport at a time (despite the occasional brief overlap).

• Set your policies around fun, skills development, and low pressure. Overbearing parents are the worst; don't be one.

Here is the Unison Parenting angle: You need to be on the same page with these ideas. Hold each other accountable. When one of you gets too intense, rein them in. Even with intense dads or moms, I saw families provide a good experience by following these rules. And love on your kid, no matter the result.