Unison Parenting Blog: Divorce Impacts Children, For Better or For Worse

It's no surprise that divorce is hard on children. But how parents handle the divorce can significantly change children's lives. And one scenario may be worse for kids than divorce.

Divorce can affect children's outcomes in terms of academics, behavior, social and emotional well-being, and mental health.

Academics - Children of divorce are more likely to make poorer grades, are twice as likely to drop out or be expelled, and are less likely to attend or finish college.

Behavior - They may exhibit more behavioral difficulties and symptoms of psychological maladjustment. Children may act out due to a lack of agency. They are more likely to marry another child of divorce, a factor in higher divorce rates among children of divorced parents.

Social/Emotional Well-Being - They have experience more social difficulties and poorer self-esteem. These children may grapple with feelings of abandonment.

Mental Health - Children of divorce have a much higher rate of serious psychological and social problems. They are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide.

Now for the good news. The statistics improve if the divorced parents get along with each other. Their kids adjust more quickly to the divorce. They feel more secure when their parents cooperate with each other. Divorced parents who can maintain consistent routines and rules across both households help children feel more settled in a predictable environment. Open communication, both between parents and with the children, is crucial for addressing concerns and ensuring the child's well-being.

This is one of the key messages of Unison Parenting. When parents focus on doing things for the sake of the child, they create an agreed, consistent environment, even if it spans two households. They work out their issues in private and come out with a united front, not because it's easy for them, but because it's best for their child. I've known parents who are able to do this; they actually find that the divorce can take pressure off their relationship and place the focus back on their co-parenting.

In my next blog entry, I'll talk about an environment that is even harder on children than divorce: loveless marriages.